Make my day
by finsbaby
Summary: Nobody ever has it all. A smile can hide OH so many things...NOW AN EO story!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N#1:** This is a one-shot I decided to write because of the stress I've been under for at least a little while. I put how I'm feeling into Olivia I guess. I've never put my personality or what I'm feeling into a character before, but I'm honestly very satisfied with the result. I even feel a little bit better. Go figure. I think this won't be the last time I write something like this either. I hope you enjoy and if you can relate, I know how you feel. Life really sucks sometimes.

* * *

It was a very dificult case, but in the end justice prevailed. Cragen yawned and out of habit, observed his squadroom from the safety and comfort of his office. Munch and Fin were bickering as always over just WHO was the "pain in the ass" while Elliot chewed thoughtfully on his pen as he surveryed some files. Olivia had just exited the elevator looking tired and simply done. Done with _what_ was the million dollar question. Unsettled, Cragen squinted his eyes to sharpen his view.

"You'd better have my coffee." Elliot says without even turning around.

"Shove it crybaby. It's at least 20 degrees out there and my hands are frozen." Olivia shoots back with a smile that is returned by her peers. She looks normal, but something is there, and it takes someone who's BEEN there to notice it.

Defeat.

"Detective Benson. My office please." Cragen hears himself say, and inhales a little to calm himself. Out of all the pep talks he's ever given, this one seems like it literally could mean life or death. For all he knew, it could be-for _her_. Olivia nods to acknowledge him, and makes her way into his office. Elliot is glaring, and Cragen glares back. His message is clear: Don't ask. Elliot scowls and returns to his paperwork. At least that's how he makes it look, but Cragen is not fooled. Really-he wasn't made Captain yesterday. Closing his door and shaking his head-what to DO with Elliot, he takes a seat in his chair. Olivia remains standing.

"Cap?" She ventures in confusion. It had been a rough day, but no harm done. Well Elliot had punched the defense attorney, but that was nothing new. Besides, he'd be the one called into the office if..."

"You're not in trouble detective. Please take a seat." Cragen murmored softly, gesturing towards an empty chair. Olivia slowly took her seat and stared at him expectantly.

_Make my day, although I doubt you could...._

"Olivia, I know things have been rough around here lately"

_Tell me you understand, although I don't think you would._

"And I've noticed you've been looking more-tired than usual. Emotionally tired."

_I'm falling 100mph yet I feel so free_

"....Olivia?"

_I'm just wondering who's on the ground to catch me_

"You can talk to me you know. No matter what you say, it won't leave this office."

_This mask I wear, so firmly attatched to my face_

"...."

_Is breaking into a million pieces and no type of embrace_

"Olivia."

_could heal the cracks that outline my soul_

"**Detective**."

_but what hurts the most is my wanting to be whole...._

Olivia blinked. "I'm-I'm okay Don."

_I laugh in you face daring you to see the truth_

Cragen smiled sadly. "No you're not."

_An unstable functioning person? I'm the proof_

Olivia nodded. "I will be okay though."

_Crying screaming praying for an end to "__**this**__"_

Cragen sighed. Bases were loaded and he had two strikes.

_Surpressing the urge to take something sharp to my wrists_

"I see it in your eyes Olivia. I see a whole lot of something, and it's not the good type either."

_And just what is __**IT**__ that you can say_

"...."

_To make things bearable again, make them even a little okay?_

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass Olivia. It's about dancing in the rain."

_All I feel is nothing, unless it's rage_

_Live the life I've lived then we'll be on the same page_

_I hear the sincerity-I do hear you_

_but you've no idea the bullshit I've been through_

_And until a simple smile takes all of your strength _

_until breathing is all you have left_

_I can take no comfort in the words that you say_

_But I shall humor you...make my day._

Olivia met Cragen's curious strare. "Things have been...rather rough lately. I haven't been sleeping, can barely keep things down, just all around stress. BUT-I'm fine. Will be anyway. All I need is a good night's sleep really."

_BULLSHIT_. "Well that can be arranged. Take the next week and half off. Relax, eat enough to feed this entire department, and go shopping with Casey. You deserve it." Cragen offered, more so ordered with a smile. Inside he felt sick. Olivia smiled too. To Cragen it looked painful.

"Thank you Captain. I hear what you're trying to say. I'm glad you're looking out for me..."

_I can through that superficial light in your eyes_

_You're dying inside_

_So many demons living inside your head_

_You swear the only time you'll get peace is when you're dead_

_You think I don't understand but oh sweetie I do..._

_It wasn't that long ago when I was you_

_It's really hard, but eventually you come to see_

_that even during the rain the sun is shining..._

"Captain!" Cragen blinked.

"I'm sorry?" he responded. Olivia's face scrunched up in amusement.

"I said, am I free to go? I'm starving and I've got a pizza with my name on it at home."

Cragen nodded and Olivia stood up to leave. "Remember what I said Olivia. And if you ever need me-just call."

_Life most of the time can be pretty ruthless_

_most help offered is completely useless_

_I'm not promising to make everything okay_

_I'm just giving you a reason to stay_

"Will do Cap. Night." Olivia waved and exited his office. The entire situation felt wrong, and Cragen was at a loss as to what he should do. Outside his office, which was no longer warm, Olivia was saying her good night's to the boys. Elliot frowned and stared after her as she walked away, then switched his gaze to meet Cragen's eyes. For once in his life, Cragen wanted Elliot to care a little too much about his partner. He wanted Elliot to march after her and demand an explanation-spectators be damned. Elliot's gaze intensified, and Cragen found himself willing his detective to read his mind. Mentally checking himself, Elliot resumed his paperwork. Munch and Fin resumed arguing, and Cragen focused on Olivia as she waited for the elevator. She gave him a quick smile and stepped onboard, vanishing from his sight. Cragen wondered if he would ever see her enter his squadroom again.

* * *

**A/N#2**: The end. I actually really want to make this a two parter, but really, I have to finish up on my other stories too and adding another chapter to this would be insane I guess. I hit a small wall with "Ace" but I WILL be finishing the story. I have some new ideas I look forward to trying out. Quote me on that. "When Dean met Sam" and "Dude I wish I had ADD" WILL be finished also. "Not doing this anymore" is TBD, I might delete it and write a newer version of it. Thank you in advance to all my reviewers, and to those still on the look out for my name in the inbox for story alerts.:-) The poem IS mine, It actually was written as I was writing this story. It came out of nowhere...when I'm at my worst, creatively I cannot be stopped. And I love it.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Please read very important note from author at the end of this chapter...bonus points to the reader who guesses what Olivia's problem is. It will be revealed in the next chapter. Please forgive my errors I am so tired LOL  
**_

* * *

To leave a note, or leave it all unspoken. That was the only question. The only thing holding Olivia back from freeing herself from such a..._draining_ existence. Sighing heavily, she took yet another glance at her clock.

"Like time matters anyway..." she muttered. Olivia picked up cell her phone, highlighted Elliot's name and selected the text message icon. Once again her problem arose. What to say? How do you say goodbye and I love you at the same time?

_I'm sorry _she typed, then stopped. For awhile she went from _I'm sorry _to _I love you_, finally pausing at _Please forgive me_.

"Ugh!" she snapped, tossing her phone in disgust, mumbling "of course" when it landed on the glass coffee table, cracking it. Running her hands through her hair, the detective took a deep breath. "Calm down...calm down..."

A sharp beep filled the dark apartment. As if she'd just moved in, Olivia gave her home a once over. Her conclusion startled her.

"It doesn't even feel lived in. I work so many hours to pay bills for a place I barely sleep in. _Seriously_?" She was pissed now. Peaks and valleys, is what she called it. One minute she'd be so _low_ and so _empty_ she could hear the black hole devouring her from the inside out. The next she was seeing red-literally. Small dots of red and black, just out of the corner of her eye. Half the time she wondered if the spots were really there. Huang would have a field day with her. Nothing in her fridge, bed unmade, blankets on the couch while takeout cartons littered her now cracked coffee table...her hair was a mess and she without a doubt needed a shower. She never left the couch unless it was to use the bathroom.

**Depression**. She'd used the word several times to describe victims following assaults and court dates gone wrong. A few counseling sessions here, anti-depressants there and problem solved. That's how she always viewed the situations. But she knew better now. She learned her lesson, in the worst way possible. Cragen-God bless him, had noticed. One week off to "rest up" which meant "get the help you desperately need." She did seek help. OH did she...one medicine put her in the emergency room while the other had her sleeping all day and night. That just made her worse. It was the dreams. Every night, and even during the day she dreamed of what she could never have. WHO she could never have: Elliot Stabler.

Her phone beeped again. Flipping it open, she read the small print.

**For...(Secrets0849)**

_**What the hell are you talking about Munch. I'm so not in the mood right now. **_

A couple of minutes later Olivia got a reply.

**Um I'm not Munch. Jeez Liv don't you recognize my number? (Secrets0849)**

It took a minute for Olivia realize it was Elliot.

_**I didn't know it was you. The signature threw me off. You use a signature now?**_

Olivia failed to mention she didn't recognize his name OR his number because she also cracked part of the screen on her phone.

**Kathleen made it for me. If anything you should have noticed my badge number. (Secrets0849)**

Olivia grit her teeth. She _so_ was not in the mood to be criticized for her sluggish detecting skills.

_**What do you want.**_

Short and to the point. The sooner this conversation ended, the better.

**You asked me to forgive you. For what. (Secrets0849)**

Olivia narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the screen. Looking over her shoulder as if she were checking to see if she was being watched, she fired a tense reply.

_**I have no idea what you are talking about.**_

She was answered immediately with a forward of her original message.

**Fwd: Please forgive me [11:53pm from LIV (Secrets0849)]**

Shit...just...shit. Sighing, Olivia put her head in her hands. Her phone beeped again. she ignored it. Her phone started to ring, she ignored that as well. Then her house phone rang and clicked over to voice mail.

"So you're getting a new partner then." Elliot's voice snapped angirly. "I guess that's what it is. I should have known." he said with a bitter laugh. Snatching up the phone his partner let him have it.

"You sonuva_bitch_. You should know me better than that. I ONLY left once of my own free will. After the Gitano incident I figured we both could use some space from each other. You may have been able to push it all down but what you said _hurt_. I refuse to be anybody's liability. Even yours. The second time? Oregon? It wasn't really a choice, it was either go undercover or let potential terrorists slip through our fingers. I love my country as much as I love SVU and I would die for both. Anyday. They had me whisked away so damn fast I never even got a chance to tell you goodbye. You think I did that on purpose? Why the hell do you always ASSUME I'm throwing you under the bus...in case you haven't noticed I happen to care about you!" Her face was red, and she was breathing hard but Olivia Benson had a point to make, and she was going to make sure Elliot knew it.

"Olivia-"

"Did I say I was finished!" Olivia snapped, and continued. "You're so fucking _dense _sometimes Stabler. We've always had each others backs, saved each others asses, and stared death in the face so many times. I've seen you at your worst and supported you when you are at your best. And when you get angry-oh do you get _angry_. No matter how much you scared me I would always walk through the flames to cool you down. When you lashed out at me for just trying to fucking _help_, I took it in stride. It hurt like hell, but dammit I _dealt with it_. I endured the storm without an umbrella for you. I did all of this...and you still don't trust me at all. You don't-" and she deflated, air escaping her lungs, fight draining out of her. She was so _tired_...

For awhile, neither said anything. Silent tears making tracks down Olivia's face, Elliot stunned into silence.

"Honestly I was just trying to get you on the phone." he remarked, voice light. Olivia snorted.

"You're such a cop." she teased automatically. _Everything with you is automatic..._

"Liv," Elliot started, "I'm always gonna trust you."

"Then why do you always jump to the worst fucking conclusions about me?" Olivia snapped again, hating the way her voice cracked. She was beginning to get whiplash from her constantly shifting emotions. She heard Elliot's breathing hitch and she could literally see him squinting his eyes at his phone.

"I don't-I mean, I don't mean to..." _I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid of losing you. Isn't it obvious? _"I do trust you Olivia. I let my temper get the best of me and I get pissed off at...my circumstances. At how I can't react how I want to react to certain stuff."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Like?" she asked, sniffling subtly. Elliot paused.

"I...can't asnwer that." he answered quietly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No...you _won't_ answer it. There's big difference."

"No! I-" Elliot stopped talking as Elizabeth and Dickie walked by his room. Getting up and closing his door, he sighed. "I just can't answer it right now." Something was completely off and he knew it, he just couldn't put his finger on it. "Want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I'm not leaving SVU. That's all you need to know."

"Well that's not all I _want_ to know."

"Tough. That's all you're going to _get_."

"Liv..." Elliot sighed, opening his door and heading into the kitchen. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I can't answer that." Olivia retorted, flinging Elliot's words back at him. Her voice was so full of bitterness and anger that it shocked her. Elliot remained silent. "I won't answer that. It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me. You're my partner." Elliot said quietly.

"It does NOT matter to you. STOP saying it does."

"Olivia I-"

"And another thing...you always explain why you supposedly care by stating I am your partner. What, you want to make sure I don't screw up your reputation or something? Can't show any weakness because I'm your partner. God forbid the squad thinks you're baby-sitting..."

"Liv-"

"Why am I even here? If all I am is a burden? To my mom, to myself, to you-"

"Don't even finish that sentence." Elliot growled. He was breathing heavy now, cool night air doing nothing to calm him down. "Look Liv, I don't know what the fuck is going on with you-"

"Nor do you care-"

"I care more than you could ever _imagine_! More than you will ever know. _Ever_. So don't put words in my mouth You-" Elliot fell silent. _Mean __**everything**__ to me_...

"I what Elliot. What were you going to say?" Olivia pressed, feeling as though her life depended on what her partner was about to say. Which in a way it did.

Elliot hesitated. "You need to rest." _Damn it why can't you see_?

Olivia sighed. "I'm tired Elliot." she mumbled, and she knew he didn't know what she was talking about, but the fight, the light that was_ her_ had officially gone out. She was through.

"Olivia...get some sleep. It will all be better in the morning." He didn't know why he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He didn't know why his heartbeat sped up at her vague admission.

Olivia smiled sadly. "Goodbye Elliot." She put as much love as she could into that final sentence, wrapping memories and her emotions into five syllables. Elliot's face morphed in confusion.

"You mean good night. It's not like I won't ever see you again." He was trying hard to sound playful, but even he heard how nervous he sounded.

A beat of silence fell.

"Liv?"

The line went dead.

* * *

_**Author's note:** I have really been struggling with whether I want to write EO anymore. I'm so devastated at Chis Meloni's exit, their story has been cut short. I mean COME ON! Out of all seasons for him to leave...they were really shifting closer last season. Ahem let me not get started. It just sucks that we fans will always wonder what could have been, and what should have been. So that really has gotten me down. However I am a slave to my craft-writing. And so many plot bunnies have been in my head and you know how rabbits are-they multiply. So I have so many ideas that I look forward to trying out-including the long awaited new chapter to "Ace" that I know you guys are waiting for. You guys will LOVE IT I know it! I even have an idea for a prequel to Ace:) As long as you guys continue to read and enjoy my stories, I will write them. Just poke me now and again to remind me. I am back, and I will be updating ALL of my stories. ~Finsbaby_


	3. Chapter 3

Gasp! ANOTHER UPDATE?! I kinda rushed to push it out so enjoy!

* * *

She loved the cold. Especially when it managed to settle into her bones. Anything slightly uncomfortable physically she loved. Because it distracted her from the emotional pain that was beginning to get out of control. The feelings that ate away at her soul. Letting out a slow breath, Olivia took in the sights of the city from her rooftop.

_"If you're ever gonna off yourself, do the job right. Only idiots screw it up and have to try it again"_ her mother had advised one night many years ago. She'd been too young to understand back then. It was a phrase often hissed at her on her birthday, but after a particularly bad fight on her sixteenth birthday her mother never mentioned it again.

"Thanks for the advice mom." Olivia sighed, closing her eyes.

"Any advice you'd like to share?" A voice behind her asked, catching her by surprise. Sparing her partner a backwards glance, Olivia shook her head.

"Somehow I don't think you'd appreciate it." She answered with a sad smile. Elliot nodded.

"Care to come over here and explain it to me?" He was trying hard to aim for casual. But his voice sounded strained at best. They both knew it. They also knew his latest question wasn't a request.

"I'm not a fan of wasting my breath Elliot." Olivia said harshly, shifting a little to warm up. When Elliot took a rushed step forward, her eyes grew wide. "You don't...think I'm gonna jump do you?!" She asked, shock coloring every word.

Elliot hesitated. "But, you..." He stammered, momentarily confused. He was so sure when she shifted towards the ledge...

_Can you sense my confusion? Tell me what to do..._

_No way in hell would I ever jump._ Olivia thought.

"Where is your gun?"

_I don't care how selfish I sound, save me I'm begging you..._

_Or shoot myself. Too messy Elliot._

"Olivia? Can you hear me?"

_I'm tired of fighting, waving my white flag this evening_

Clearing her throat, Olivia glared at him. "My gun is in my room. And I can't fucking believe you'd actually think I would jump off of my own roof." She growled.

"Because it's too messy? Too obvious?" Elliot murmured, loud enough to be heard but mostly speaking to himself. . Analyzing. And she worked with him long enough to know it wouldn't be long until he figured it out.

_I need a reason, keep me breathing..._

"What are you doing here, and how did you even get in?" Trying again to sound angry, ignoring the feeling of losing control of the situation.

Elliot ignored her. Head snapping up, he met her gaze. "Messy isn't the problem. You just can't have it look obvious...because then everyone would know. I'd know." He concluded, voice trailing off in horror. Cringing, Olivia swung her gaze back to the traffic below. She could practically hear his fuse getting shorter, flame edging ever so closer to the bomb.

"Elliot-" she began quietly, but jumped when Elliot interrupted her.

"You're so fucking selfish. Beyond selfish Olivia." He seethed, hands shaking. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been angrier. "You're an egotistical asshole."

Olivia's eyes widened at his outburst. "_Excuse_ me?"

Cue the explosion.

"You heard me goddammit. You're SELFISH. And egotistical. Nevermind whose hearts you'd be breaking right? Make it look like an accident to what? Spare us a little LESS pain?! Or to protect your precious reputation. Fucking _selfish_!" He was screaming now, and her silence was only making him madder.

_I know you're asking yourself what's happened to the person you used to know..._

Olivia shrugged calmly. "I guess I am." She agreed quietly.

_You want to know where the light inside me went, and when did it go..._

Breathing in and out in an effort to calm himself, Elliot felt like he was hyperventilating. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out words he never thought he'd say to Olivia Benson. "You're a coward."

Face contorting in rage, said detective whirled around. "Go to hell Elliot." She hissed, hands balling into fists.

_Are you scared? So am I..._

"You're a coward. And a hypocrite." Elliot growled, aware that his taunts were hitting below the belt. He just prayed to God this worked, instead of driving her over the edge. Literally.

_Can I tell you a secret? I don't want to die._

"Shut up Elliot." Olivia warned, taking a small step towards him.

"You're nowhere near who I thought you were. Who anybody thought you were. You're a coward. You can't handle how real shit gets so you decide to kill yourself...in front of the person who'd self destruct without you. Whose life would be empty without you. Instead of picking up the phone to call somebody, talk to them about how you're feeling...you decide checking out is the best option. Instead of looking for help, you give up. How many times have you talked victims out of doing the very same thing you're about to do? They're stronger than you. Better than you. You're weak, a hypocrite, and a fucking COWARD-"

So caught up in his tirade, Elliot never saw the punch coming. He didn't even see Olivia move from the edge. Staggering backwards, his head connected with the brick wall of the building. The next blow came on the opposite side of his face, and this time he saw stars. Reaching out blindly he managed to grab Olivia's wrists and pull her against him to stop her from swinging. He was aware of her struggling, and yelling something, but the ringing in his ears prevented him from making out the words. When the noise died down he realized she'd gone limp in his arms and was crying.

"You don't know, you don't know how much it hurts." Olivia sobbed, rocking back and forth. Feeling Elliot attempt to pull her closer, she began to struggle again.

"Then tell me, please baby tell me." Elliot pleaded, allowing his own emotions to show. "I'm here..._God_ I'm here, and I won't let you go. Please tell me." Voice breaking, he pulled her against him.

She knew he wanted an answer, this she knew. But she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She didn't even know where to start. Feeling tears run down her neck, she was startled from her thoughts.

Elliot crying?

"I'm sorry, I'm so _sorry_..."

He was apologizing, and Olivia roused from her moment of despair to contemplate her partner in confusion.

Sorry for _what_?

"I didn't, I didn't..." The man continued, hiccups and all.

Didn't what? Didn't know how bad she had gotten?

"I-you're the strongest person I know." Elliot breathed, holding her so tightly it hurt.

Ah so that's it Olivia mused. He thought she believed what he'd screamed at her, that what he said was his actual opinion of her. Reaching behind herself, she gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You're such a cop." Her voice was weak, but the underlying message was undeniably strong.

She knew his only intent was to get her away from the ledge.

Sagging in relief, Elliot let his head rest against the wall he was now propped against, with Olivia in his arms. When the hell did they fall? Probably sometime after the second punch his brain offered miserably, seemingly beginning to throb. He began to wonder if he had a concussion when Olivia's words cut into his thoughts.

"Did I hurt you?" She asked, in tune with him as always.

_I think a tooth is loose as well...shit I think my lip is bleeding._

But he'd bleed for her any day. Better these injuries than attending her funeral. "Not physically, no." He answered slowly, letting his words sink in. Flinching, Olivia looked at ground.

"Sorry." She offered lamely, not quite knowing what else to say. Now that the adrenaline of the situation was fading away, she was feeling overwhelmed and numb at the same time. The reality of what she had almost done, had wanted to do was creeping up on her and it was taking all she had to keep it at bay.

"We were, are trained on how to deal with situations like this. But it's different when it's somebody you L...somebody you..." Elliot struggled to explain, voice breaking. "I..._**I**_..." giving up he embraced a bewildered Olivia from behind, burying his face in her neck with a sob.

_Just stay with me, please stay with me. Hold on..._

The wave of reality, the gravity of it all broke the shore of her mind, and Olivia felt ashamed. Elliot was shattered, scared and overwhelmed. She was as well. In her attempt to end her own pain and suffering, she overlooked the agony her success would cause those around her.

"Elliot," she breathed, tears of her own forming. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He wanted to ask her why. He wanted to know how he missed the signs. But above all else, he wanted to know if she'd try it again. Feeling her stiffen in his arms he realized he'd spoken aloud.

"Please. Please Liv..." he begged, for what he didn't know. For her to explain? For her to stay? Both?

"It just...hurts." Olivia confessed, voice barely above a whisper. "I just want it to stop. I'm tired of being alone. Tired of wanting, tired of feeling."

"You're not alone, I'm here." Elliot began, but stopped when he felt Olivia tense.

"No. I mean I know you are. But I'm talking about love...family. I want to start a family. Leave behind more than a great employee file when my time is actually up. Have someone waiting for me, to keep me warm at night. Someone to listen to me, really listen. I want someone to understand that I'm not who I portray myself to be, not completely. It's a long story." She sighed.

Elliot lightly rubbed her sides. "I have all the time in the world." He assured her.

"I can't keep a relationship, and you know what? We can blame the job all we want but maybe it's not the job. Maybe it's me. Maybe something is wrong with ME. And they see that. They see the truth."

"What truth?" Elliot asked, keeping his tone neutral.

"I'm broken. So broken that the only person that can put me back together is God himself. And even he hesitates to deal with the mess that is me. The things I've done, the things I've seen...they've ruined me. I'm _ruined_. Corrupted, tainted, and so damn _damaged_ I wonder if there's any of my soul left. I can't trust anyone because I don't even trust myself. I hate who I see in the mirror. I can do my job perfectly. But when it comes to my life I break everything I touch. I'm a sick dog that should have been put down years ago."

The loneliness, disgust, and the hatred directed towards herself shocked Elliot to his very core. How could someone so beautiful and seemingly so proud see themself that way? Think so little of themself?

"And the worst of all?" Olivia laughs bitterly, making him cringe. "To be numb, so damn numb your entire life then...to feel something so deep it makes an ocean jealous but knowing nothing will ever come of it. To want something so bad, to _need it_ so much your heart aches, to dream of it constantly and wish for it secretly...knowing you shouldn't. To be reminded nothing will come out of it. That's hell Elliot. And give me a speech all you want but you don't know what hell is."

_And just what is IT that you can say..._

Elliot swallowed.

_To make things bearable again, make them even a little okay?_

Not even fighting to suppress the tears flowing freely down his face, he lowered his head a bit to whisper in Olivia's ear. "You're wrong." He disputed quietly, allowing his hand to dip under her shirt to stroke her belly. "I do know what hell is."

* * *

**_I feel Olivia's pain. I guess because I lived it. Anyways, reviews are much appreciated! All poetry used is mine. Ps typing stories on my cell phone has driven me to DRINK. It sucks. But I did it for you guys:)_**


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